There are many signs that the person you are in a relationship with or are dating, is being manipulative or controlling. Often times we will miss alot of these signs because we are so infatuated or in love with the person that we cant se clearly what they are doing before its too late.
One thing that many women don t know about is that In order for a man to be in control of you, you need to care about him first otherwise he cannot control you! Imagine this if a guy that you don’t care about is throwing tantrums, is being manipulative or is losing emotional control on you you’ll just block or ignore him right?
Yes and it’s because you just don’t care about him that much so it’s easy to let go, but if you are invested into him and you care about him, we have a different story. Men know about his so how do they control women by applying this strategy?
The first thing that a man will try to do is make you care about them he usually achieves this by low investment activity ie. flattery and promises or in other words “love bombing” you. Women are unfortunately usually naive and the majority of us fall for a few nice compliments and promises here and there. A higher investment from a man would be giving you, his personal time, being consistent in his ACTIONS and even paying for things often to try and impress you. Either way they know that more you invest in someone or give someone the more that person starts to see you as genuine and like you and care about you.
As soon as some men (the more game playing power trip seeking men) see that you are starting to care about them a bit more what they usually do is they begin to pull back. They take away the compliments and stop giving as much time or attention as the used to. Now this pull back could be because he is losing interest or it could be because he wants to use you by having that control over you.
Usually when he will stop giving as much, if you care about him you will get insecure, as you will be wondering what happened and why he suddenly went cold. Also now that you are also emotionally involved it’s frightening for you when you think he may walk away from you. This is when a man now has control over you. Usually this is also when women will begin to chase men.
They wrongly assume that that more nice and kind they will be the more he will give back and care and love her.
However it does not work like this. When a man is in control of you he also loses his attraction for you! And after that is you also begin chasing him he will stop caring about you and only take you for granted or use you before he ends up leaving you.
There is an old saying that if you cannot control a woman you know she’s a keeper. You are actually turning him off and making him bored by letting him control you. Now I’m not saying don’t fall in love with a man because you fear power games, what I’m saying is that when starts to manipulate you by pulling back etc maintain your emotional control, don’t chase him and have control over yourself so no one can control you!
Hi ladies, it's great to be a part of this group again. I wanted to return to share my story as Greta Bereišaitė changed my life. The self confidence I gained from working with Greta and the coaches changed my life.
Briefly, two short years ago I had just broken up with my boyfriend (for the 5th time in 4 years). He couldn't commit and I was at the end of my rope and didn't realize that the reason for this was because I was a predictable doormat and did everything wrong. I was the nice girl who wore her heart on her sleeve. I loved him very much, but kept breaking up with him because he just wouldn't commit.
During the three months I was broken up with him and following the teachings of Greta my life changed dramatically! Even though I was very low on funds-being a single mom of two girls, I scraped up enough extra money to join the Ladies VIP and Sunsu Bee and the other coaches were amazing. They coached me in new ways of dating and interacting with men that changed my life. The twice a week lives made such a difference in how I interacted not just with men, but friends and family as well. I also saw the mistakes I had made that allowed others to take me for granted.
Three months after leaving my boyfriend he came back. I used all of the tools I learned from Greta and the coaches and within in 3 weeks of talking with him again-he proposed. This is a man who only spent the night at my house two times during the whole 4 years we were dating!!! He had been all about himself and his needs. The shift in him was dramatic. And I did everything the coaches told me to do. Even when it was uncomfortable-I couldn't ignore the results and changes I was seeing in my high value man.
The week after he proposed, he treated me to a trip to Hawaii for two weeks-first class all the way. He had planned the trip to propose to me, but couldn't wait to propose-so we went on the trip one week after he proposed. When we returned from Hawaii we bought a house together where he has invested over $100k in remodeling the house. He gave me his Escalade which I didn't even want but he wanted me to return my newe car to the dealership because the monthly payments were so costly! The Escalade was his baby but he freely handed it over to me, to help us save $.
The reason I bring up his financial investment in our relationship is because before being a part of this group and working with Greta, I would have refused most of the above because I'm an independent woman. But Greta taught me that when a man loves a woman he wants to spoil her and he invests in her. And ladies, he never did any of this before I was a part of this group.
I have wanted to share my story for so long with Greta and the other coaches to tell them thank you. But, I also want to share it with you ladies because the best thing you can do is to keep coming back here. Read the advice of others, but keep in mind that they may not be as far along in the high value woman journey. The only way you will get to that next stage is to work directly with the coaches in the VIP. Also, Greta's book on the games men play is excellent. I have it on audio and have listened to it a few times to remind myself how men work.
At this point I have been happily married to my husband since September of this year. He left his job in coaching to be a full time stepfather to my two teenage girls (girls who he spent probably a total of 1 week with during the four years we dated) and to work on flipping houses. My point is, if he can change so dramatically based on me changing my behavior, it is possible for anybody!
I have created my dream life. Not just because I'm married to the man of my dreams but because I trust myself and know that I am a high value woman. I have started my own business as a life coach and many of the valuable lessons I've learned from this group, finds its way into my work with others. And I know I have Greta and the other coaches to thank for this. You ladies are truly the best!!! I can't thank you enough.
He took me out for Valentines date today and proposed to me. He popped the question and we went to a ring shop afterwards. I would've posted the picture of the ring but he wanted the right size for me so I will post it to you next time. This wouldn't have happened without your coaching, your VIP Facebook, and your YouTube videos!! And of course you yourself. I have been following you since last June. It only sank in when I came back home, I couldn't believe it. I Broke up with an ex in the summer but when I found my current guy I followed your tips hardcore, and it finally happened. Maybe sooner than later, but I did nothing but was HV. I cant thank you enough. Your work is beautiful and you'll get something more beautiful in life. I'm so happy and that's only because of you, I will always be forever thankful. Without your help, it wouldn't have happened. I have learned to lean back, my self-worth and self-love is with me, I haven't lost myself. I told my sister first and you were the second person I told. My parents nor my friends still know
Greta first I just want to thank you for what you're doing for women. I didn't have a clue of why my relationships with men would fall apart so quickly. Finding your YouTube channel, joining VIP 2, your ebook, and the FB group has changed my entire life And today, I have accepted a commitment to my guy and just like you said (it takes 3 months HV for a guy to fall) and it's literally 2 weeks away from our 3 month anniversary. You know your stuff!!!!!! Also, I admire you sooo much for your life story and your work ethic. I was in a very dark place financially and had to give up a lot of my comforts but seeing you rise to the top has given me so much motivation and so much more gratitude for my life and what I do have. I made a career change and now I am a teachers assistant and have had to take HUGE pay cut until my new school year contract begins for the upcoming school year. I'm planning to join VIP 1 come September (when my pay grade increases) to make sure I surround myself with Queens who know this stuff in and out. Plus, I just want to support your business. I now have the guy that I really care about because of you...who was begging me to be in a relationship with him! I can't believe it. I have been chasing men for so long and finally with your coaching it's all in my favor now
From a Doormat to a Queen (Before and After)Before: With my last 2 ex boyfriends, (last one I broke up in 2016) My ex's would pursue me hard at the beginning and then I would fall in love and show my affection too much, they definitely knew I was in love. Later in the relationship they took me for granted...sometimes they would flirt with other girls in front of me or behind my back (I later saw pictures on FB of a girl sitting on my Bf's lap) and I would argue with them instead of breaking up with them when they crossed boundaries. I was the one wanting to get married and at least one of my ex's knew that. I behaved doormatty in many ways. When I had enough of this terrible treatment I finally broke up with them.
Also Before: With guys I have been just dating as a single girl since 2016 until I met Greta in December 2018
Before I found Greta and joined the group, I was the one asking my dates what they are looking for in a relationship. I would tell my dates I was looking for a connection and if I found it, a serious relationship. When I dated, I asked one of them what our status was because I was on a mission to find a boyfriend. I had a mindset where I was the one trying to find my match, instead of letting the guys trap me into a relationship. After seeing all your videos and joining the VIP group, I completely changed my mindset, stopped showing too much emotion and going to each others places too soon.
After finding Greta: I initially asked Greta to help me with this guy I was dating where things went terribly wrong. I was so devastated and wanted to fix it. However, about 6 weeks later, i forced myself to start dating again and I met a new guy. At that point I had been studying Greta's teachings for 6 weeks every day. New guy and I have gone out about 15 dates in 3 months. Since date 1, I acted mysterious, didn't overshare information about my ex's. He even said i had a poker face and was hard to read. I cancelled 3rd or 4th date because he confirmed too late in the day and 2 days later he called me to apologize and asked me if I even liked him and if I still wanted to date him. I said of course yes, I was getting to know him. I never went to his house or him to mine until he brought up being exclusive recently. We kissed in parking lots of restaurants and I just didn't make it easy for him until I knew he cared for me and showed me he was investing time into me. He was very patient. I really control my emotions and just think things through more than before. I remember I am the prize. I space out my dates and don't accept a date unless he asks at least 2 days in advance. It actually kind of flows easily overall. I'm not going to say I've been perfect HV 100% of the time or that He doesn't have pullaways or that its always pink and pretty but its not just a coincidence that things are going right this time randomly. I've applied everything Greta teaches overall and now the results are that this new guy tells me he respects me and just wants to be with me. He opens car doors, always buys tickets to movies in advance, tickets to comedy shows, pays for everything, is punctual, he texts me right after dates telling me he had a great time (instead of me texting first). I'm so happy
Dear Greta, I am so happy to inform you that I'm engaged. The credit for this beautiful moment goes to Greta Bereisaite "Our Coach" and the HV Facebook group moderators. I would like to share my story from being a complete doormat to a woman whom her boyfriend now respects absolutely. We have been dating for 2 years and he was the one who was chasing and pursuing me initially. It all faded gradually. His texts and calls diminished; even a time came when he started avoiding my calls and texts. I became scared of losing him and chased him horribly. There was an ex involved, with whom he used to chat and talk on the phone. I got so insecure that I started stalking both of them, and I also asked him to either choose me or her. He replied that he is not yet sure with whom he would like to stay and I still clung to him. I agreed with him that he can take time to choose between the too. Omg! I was such a low value woman at that time.
A day came when his bad behavior reached a point where he told me that I can leave this relationship if I want because I kept on nagging, remaining threatened by his EX. I had invested a lot of emotions and time. My behavior was totally doormatty, so I had no courage to leave him. Finally, he insulted me to an extreme level due to my behavior and I naturally had to stop contacting him to save whatever was left of my self-respect. I stepped back naturally and went into No Contact with him. I wasn't aware of terms like leaning back, no contact, games, pullaway, etc.
I went into a depression and tried finding a solution to my problem on YouTube, and there I found Greta's videos. I watched them all and during this time Greta used to answer free questions on her Whatsapp. She made a video on my situation, here is the link I joined her High Value Women Facebook Group which she started and some of the moderators, along with women like us were the initial members. I started writing on the Facebook wall about my issues and I was given advice by some of the women to move on and find another guy who would value me more than him. Some even called my guy a "narcissist!" The story changed in 2 days from there, when I asked Greta on her Facebook live about my issue and she said that I am behaving like a complete doormat. The same man who is treating me like his servant would treat me better if I changed my behavior, but she said that the chances of saving my relationship were very small because I had made HUGE mistakes. Still, she would try to turn it all around. I kept on posting on the wall and then came the angels who helped me. The HVW group moderators were my Guiding Angels. They held my hand and brought me out from the miserable condition I was in. There was a vast difference in our time zones, as we live in the different parts of the globe, but I would wait for their comment on the wall and then take a step ahead. Gradually I started to behave in a way as trained by Greta and the moderators. I was taught not to do the wrong things, and to improve on my own personal behavior. I made major changes in my thought process, my mindset, my communication skills and most importantly I remained patient, waiting for good days to come. Once again he said he was confused as to whom he would date. This time I wished him good luck in his life and said I'm happy for you and that he can have a good life ahead. Dang! He chased me like hell!
My boyfriend, who realized this slow progress in me, started wondering if I was the same woman. He started talking to me very politely and started to ask me what was it was that made me so cool and calm. My boyfriend reads Robert Greene books and he is coached too. I never knew that until I became High Value myself. He told me this, but I never told him that I have an army too.
Gradually he started respecting me so much and treating me completely differently. The Ex went out the window. He started treating me like a queen and the he calls me a queen naturally many a times in his texts. I turned my relationship around 180 degrees. It had already died before I was coached by Greta.
Some rules I always followed were:1. I TRUSTED IN GRETA'S TEACHINGS WITHOUT ANY DOUBT. I WAS ALREADY IN A MESS. 2. WHENEVER THE MODERATORS TOLD ME NOT TO DO SOMETHING, OR TO BEHAVE IN A PARTICULAR WAY, I DID THAT BLINDLY, NO IFS AND NO BUTS. 3. I STAYED IN THE PAINFUL SITUATION WITH PATIENCE, UNDERSTANDING THAT THE SAME MAN CAN TREAT ONE WOMAN LIKE A DOORMAT AND ANOTHER LIKE A TOTAL QUEEN 4. I TOOK TOTAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE WAY I WAS TREATED AND ACCEPTED MY MISTAKE. IT WAS MY PROBLEM, NOT HIS.5. NEVER DID I MISS A SINGLE LIVE OR VIDEO THAT GRETA MADE AND I TRIED TO BE THE BEST STUDENT TO HER AND MY MODERATORS .
So, ladies, before blaming a man and calling him names, look deep within yourselves. Look at the mistakes that we are making as women. Instead of leaning back into our own energy we lean forward and make a huge mess. Trying to change a man doesn't help. Improving ourselves helps. I won because of Greta's teachings and my moderators who showed me the correct path. Thanks to you all for your support and love,
2 months into a new relationship with a childhood friend I reconnected with - I was high value always letting him initiate, call, pursue me based on all Greta's videos and Lives! I never acted jealous, I gave him freedom never asked where are you, who you with...I never started arguments-and I passed several test he put me through. For example: he mentioned going over to a female friends house- and asked if it was okay: I acted HV and said of course darling- go have fun.(He was actually kidding and just seeing how I would react). He was so surprised that I never picked an argument- or acted insecure When he lasted a day without texting I was never reactive-
Before this new relationship I was in a toxic relationship where I was needy, clingy and low value.
My boyfriend proposed to me this morning!! It's my first time making a post here- I always have
just commented on other post, and always listened to Greta's advice on the lives and I applied it
to my new boo. I do believe in the power of moving on from a LV relationship into a new one
because yes it's easier to nail it, from the beginning with a new guy!
He is crazy over me.
The first thing that a man will try to do is make you care about them he usually achieves this by low investment activity ie. flattery and promises or in other words “love bombing” you. Women are unfortunately usually naive and the majority of us fall for a few nice compliments and promises here and there. A higher investment from a man would be giving you, his personal time, being consistent in his ACTIONS and even paying for things often to try and impress you. Either way they know that more you invest in someone or give someone the more that person starts to see you as genuine and like you and care about you.
As soon as some men (the more game playing power trip seeking men) see that you are starting to care about them a bit more what they usually do is they begin to pull back. They take away the compliments and stop giving as much time or attention as the used to. Now this pull back could be because he is losing interest or it could be because he wants to use you by having that control over you.
