IsMarriage just a piece of paper?
We are living in unprecedented times. Marriage is at an all time low, divorce is at an all time high. Many singletons are opting to remain single and fore go marriage altogether, yet many still crave companionship and children.
Alot of people are realising that the dating scene is just not what it used to be. The majority of people are going on many first and second dates, but rarely will the dates go beyond this or beyond the 3 months mark to lead to anything monogamous and meaningful.
Both men and women are being fed different pieces of information and alot of the voices are unfortunately spreading misinformation and sowing seeds of hatered and bitterness. Men are being told that women need to chase them whereas women are being told casual relationships are something that is normal and that they should accept.
What both sides don’t realise is that now more than ever we need to relook at things that worked for previous generations in the past and see what lessons we can take from them. Clearly we are doing something wrong.
The phrase I hear often is that, marriage is just a piece of paper, we don’t need it. What they don’t realise is that the reason why many men in particular don’t want to get married is because they realise that this piece of paper carries alot of weight to it.
If marriage didn’t mean that much, then your long-term boyfriend wouldn’t try and talk you out of it, it’s that simple. Men know that with marriage comes greater responsibility and greater financial risk, which is why many of them are avoiding it as much as possible.
In fact in a study conducted in 2002, the majority of men stated that they didn’t believe they needed to get married because they received many of the benefits without it. Meaning that the got the wife benefits without any of the wife commitment, so why would they need to switch it up?
This may serve their short term interests but in the long term other studies have suggested that marriage is actually more beneficial for men than bachelorhood. They tend to be healthier and happier married than single.
So what about those of you who say we can have long term relationships and co habit we don’t need that piece if paper.
Marriage adds extra responsibility on a man than co habitation does. When you have a disagreement and you’re married you have to stay and work it out, you can just agree to breakup and start dating someone new the same day. You are held to a higher standard of commitment. In fact the person you marry has actually stood in a room full of people and signed a document which states that they promise to treat you well, not cheat, not hurt you, so if they don’t abide by these rules they actually have consequences they have to face over and above, let’s break up. This is one of the main reasons that men hesitate to marry so much, they can see this extra level of responsibility and commitment they have to give in marriage and would rather keep things where they have one foot out of the door if they need it.
The level of security a simple piece of paper can offer a woman is much more than simple co habitation usually can. In fact that’s why many women will move in with a guy and then spend years hounding him for a ring that won’t manifest because as mentioned before, why would he put himself at greater risk and a higher level of investment if he can get the same benefits at a lower level of investment.
So no marriage is not just a piece of paper. It’s alot more than that. It a way that two people can promise themselves to one another with the highest level of commitment known to society. I encourage women to rethink what society largely tells them about marriage and relationships and what they should give to someone and what they get back in return
