Thisis why you should give him a chance
“he’s consistent, he chases me and he’s a nice guy, but I’m not feeling it”
I hear this alot. Women who will tell me that they’ve started dating a guy, that is chasing actively (not stalking) is consistent, complimenting her and paying for her. He turns up on time for dates and doesn’t cancel, he even wants to move the relationship forward because he doesn’t want anyone else to have her, BUT she feels bored. He’s too nice she says. She looks someone who gives her the hot and cold treatment, who keeps her guessing and who doesn’t always show her how her feels about her. What women don’t realise is that the type of guy that keeps them on their toes and is not boring, is exactly the type of guy who leaves women damaged, broken and bitter. What they also dont relaise is that if they prefer men like this, then they have issues that need resolving, which go far and beyond relationship counselling.
This constant need for validation, the sometimes he chases me and tells me how much he wants me, other times he ignores me is a massive red flag. Women who like this, have a need from outside validation, and like toxic behaviour that should infact make a reasonable person run for the hills.
If he’s blowing hot and cold, trying to make you jealous constantly, inconsistent, makes you more anxious than relaxed then you are dating someone who is using pure manipulation to use you or to get you to give over your power to them.
He’s not doing this because he’s in love with you. Men who are in love with women or who value and respect them are less likely to play sweeping games and using extreme manipulation techniques. Now I’m not saying that he won’t ever play games at all or sometimes pull back, that’s completely normal, but if it’s something you’re constantly being faced with and youre nearly constantly anxious, then the relationship you have is TOXIC.
Having a man treat you good is something all women should aim for, however they get pulled into the sweet and sour treatment from men who want nothing than to manipulate and use them. We need to give the “nice guys credit”. Give them an actual chance. If he makes you feel good and he doesn’t keep you guessing then you’re onto a winner and healthy relationship.
Men are so aware now of women’s need for toxic validation, that dating coaches for guys are teaching them how to be as toxic and manipulative as possible to get women to chase and submit, so they can be used and left.
Don’t fall for this.
You deserve a relationship where you’re treated good. Where you don’t have to second guess his feeling and find youesf constantly on edge. Give men like that a chance, you don’t need instant feelings of lust to flood you in order to consider a man worthy, his consistency, his integrity and his treatment of you is what you should be holding to the highest regard.
