He used to like me, what went wrong?

This is the usually start to most relationship stories, A guy meets a girl she is independent, going for her goals and ambitions, driven and focused. She has a loving circle of family and friends who she enjoys spending time with, she has many hobbies that she does in her spare time and she is living a fulfilling life. The guy is smitten by her! He thinks wow! What a happy, independent and incredible woman! Let me find out more about her, she seems like the one!

He starts pursuing her, he sweeps her off her feet. The girl is a bit unavailable, she’s interested but has her priorities straight. However, he keeps going for her and doesn’t take no for the answer. He keeps taking her out, he is fun to be with and  acts like a total gent being. He is caring, nice, protective, charming, generous etc…Eventually, she falls for him. I mean who wouldn’t a total prince charming right?

However, a few months later things start to go downhill.

He starts to back off, he becomes more distant, his phone calls slow down, as do his text messages, he starts to become more flaky and unavailable. Sometimes he can go a long time without meeting up with her, but she is so head over heels with him that she is struggling. She starts to grow anxious and even confronts him for not stepping up. Eventually he vanishes for a while after calling her crazy.

She wonders what she did wrong, what can she do to fix the relationship, she desperately wants him back.

So what happened?

The girl was so smitten by him that she nearly got addicted to him. She let go of her priorities, friends, family, hobbies. She starts to cancel on her them in order to spend more time with him. As he is just so much fun! She starts to try and please him in every single way she can. she just wants him to like her more. She is scared to express her opinion if it doesn’t match with his. As she is scared that he may not like that.

When a woman starts acting like this, this is when she loses a guy.

You are not the woman that he was originally attracted to, you have changed, the new version of you is one he doesn’t find attractive, he is hanging around until he can either replace you, or you get frustrated and leave by his lack of effort.

So what will it take to fix this?

It will take going back to remembering your value, your worth. It will take putting your dignity and not the man first! It will take controlling your emotions and getting your life back! You need to become the same woman that he fell for at the start of the relationship.

when a man is used to walking all over a woman and taking her for granted. Having her under his thumb and acting whichever way he pleases. To fix it takes a huge amount of PATIENCE, DISCIPLINE and SELF CONTROL. However, it is possible and in many cases worth it!

Sunsu Bee / January 7th, 2023 / Life Coaching