Trying your best to make your relationship work, backfires

whytrying your best to make your relationship work, backfires

Women who have been in long term relationships that started off really well and now are in a place where things are looking like they may end will oftentimes say but they are going to give it one last chance and try to make the relationship work.


They will start going out of their way to do as many things as they can to improve the quality of the relationship. This will usually mean things like spending more quality time with their spouse going on couples retreats or vacations, going to couples therapy, trying to invigorate the sex life by learning new things and introducing new aspects. they will basically start to do more things that they feel like their significant other will like them more for.


What these women don’t realise is not by doing all of these things and trying to make your partner happier you are actually damaging the relationship even further. 
One of the main reasons relationships breakdown is because love, respect and attraction has been lost and this over a long period of time due to various reasons, the main ones being inability to Express oneself correctly, loss of personal identity, lack of trust, letting insecurities rule, and not setting healthy boundaries. 


Therefore, trying to be complacent and make your partner happier is not going to solve the problem in fact it’s just going to make things worse.


By trying to please a man you are showing him what you need this relationship to work more than he does, you are showing him that the relationship means more to you it does to him, when are man knows you are afraid for the relationship to end they are more likely to behave no way where they will try and get away with as much as possible button pushing, acting out, expecting you to put up with more and be even more complacent, pushing it to see how far and how much they can get away with because after all you are desperate to make this relationship work so they will do everything they can to see how desperate that really is.


So instead of trying your best to make the relationship work focus on fixing the problems I have mentioned before when you start to fix these problems you will see changes happening slowly but surely it will give you the best chance of saving your relationship.

Sunsu Bee / June 21st, 2021 / Life Coaching