whatto do when he breaks up with you…
Whether the break up comes as a surprise to you or not, its still an incredibly difficult thing to face and often women don’t know how to behave when this happens. Therefore this handy little blog post will tell you exactly how to behave if you ever find yourself in this predicament.
First thing is to maintain as much of a poker face and emotional control as you can. If this is over text or the phone its a lot easier to do, when its in person, the shock and anger is much more difficult to hide.
DO NOT get emotional. Don’t yell scream, blame, become angry or cry. Don’t try and talk him round and convince him.
If you try to talk to and convince him that you both should “work on things” for the sake of the relationship instead of throwing in the towel. Or if you try your best to please him or find new ways to make him happy so he will stay, what you’re basically saying to him, is that you are terrified to lose him and that you can’t live without him, both are major turn off’s for men.
When you’re scared to lose a man, he is not scared to lose you. You are working against one of his major “love needs” of the need for uncertainty, by making him feel “too safe”. By doing this, you will not only push him further away from you, but also allow him to take you for granted and walk all over you.
So what is the best way to handle this situation?
When he hints or says “this is not working out” and gives you a list of reasons why or even demands, what you should be doing, tell him, “look if you want to leave, you are very free to go, because I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me”. Saying this simple statement will do one of two things; if he was just testing you by trying to make you afraid, or even have some kind of power over you, he will backtrack and take his words back. If however he is serious and he believes that things are not working out, then what it will do is that it will let you have respect and dignity in his eyes and increase the chances of him regretting the breakup.
After he has said he wants to break up, do not tell him you love him, beg him back or try and negotiate changes. It will make you look sad and desperate in his eyes, he will be less likely to come back and much less likely to regret his decision. Instead, help him pack his things and hold the door open for him as he leaves. He will not only respect you more, he will understand that you do not need him to make you happy in life. That’s the high value woman way to end things, with your head held high.
